ThumbeLevi
by seekingtomorrow
Summary: Erwin Smith has always wanted a friend, so when resident fairy godmother Mikasa Ackerman offers to grant him a wish, what's a guy to do? OOC-ness and lots of gratuitous crack. Takes place in roughly the same universe as Cinderamin.


**Thumbelevi**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I feel like I'm going to regret this more than I regretted Cinderarmin. It also takes place in roughly the same universe. May continue, so drop a review if you want more chapters.

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Once upon a time, there lived a handsome man in a tiny cottage just a stone's throw away from a bustling forest. The man had a beautiful garden around the back of his cottage, which he tended to with the utmost delicacy. He grew precious flowers and delicious vegetables and always made sure to take some to the grumpy fellow living across the pond.

However, the man was unhappy. He lived alone and although his garden kept him busy, it wasn't the same as having human company. And so, one night when the sky was clear, save for a lone star streaking across the inky blackness, he made a wish.

The next morning, he was visited by a strange woman. She was beautiful, with dark hair and pale skin, clad in a tight, white bodysuit and holding a large, sparkling dumbbell with one hand. "You called?"

Erwin Smith blinked and rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was still asleep. "Can I help you?" He asked politely.

The girl sighed and held out a piece of cardstock. "The name's Mikasa."

Sure enough, the business card said her name is block print with the words 'Ackerman Fitness Emporium: Granting Wishes since before you can remember'.

"Anyways," Mikasa continued, "you made a wish last night and I'm here to grant that." She twirled the weight around her hand and Erwin eyed her with slight suspicion.

"Why?"

"Why?" Mikasa repeated. "First that short kid and now you. Why can't a fae do something nice for a human once in a while without them getting all huffy about it?" She pushed past Erwin into his house and he followed her, still incredibly apprehensive of his odd visitor.

"Where's your garden?" She asked.

"Not in the house."

She rolled her eyes. "I know that. Are you going to give me directions or what?"

Erwin lead Mikasa outside. When she saw the bounty, she let out a low whistle, nodding approvingly. "Here," she said to the man, handing him a brown paper packet. "Plant this and care for it like you would any other flower. When it sprouts, you'll have your company. Weirdo." The last word was spoken in a derisive whisper, but Erwin wisely chose to ignore it.

"I'll see you in a week or so," said Mikasa, swinging a leg over her dumbbell. It began to hover, not unlike a witch's broom. "Good luck." And without further ado, she kicked off from the ground and in a shower of light, disappeared, leaving Erwin with a packet of seeds and more questions than he had answers to.

However, Erwin planted the seed and in a few days, it had begun to sprout. Days passed and it grew into a flower with beautiful deep green petals. After a week's time, the flower looked as though it was ready to open and when it did, Erwin's life changed forever.

Resting in the middle of the flower was a tiny person. When Erwin peeked at them with curiosity, they sat up from their slumber and glared at him.

"What?" The person—a man—asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

Erwin immediately went searching for Mikasa's business card.

"So, it sprouted?" Mikasa eyed the plant and the man inside. After she'd received Erwin's frantic call, she'd rushed to his home, but not before sprouting profanity about her useless assistants and their inability to properly follow directions. "Hey there."

The man flipped Mikasa the bird and rolled over.

"Pleasant fellow," said Mikasa. "Probably a dud. It's supposed to be a human-sized baby. This one is tiny."

"Who're you calling tiny?" The man shook a fist at Mikasa, but she silenced him with a glare.

"One more word out of you and I'll turn you into chicken feed. You got any chickens around here?" Erwin shook his head. "You want some chickens?" Erwin shook his head again, only faster.

"I think I'll keep him," said Erwin finally, after the shock had set in. "Maybe he'll grow."

"Maybe you'll go bald!" Yelled the tiny man.

Mikasa leaned in close and narrowed her eyes. "Shut it, pipsqueak."

"You shut it, you sparkly oaf!"

Mikasa turned to Erwin with an exasperated sigh. "Are you sure you want him? I can always take him back and you'll get another wish."

"No, no," Erwin practically begged, "this is fine."

"Do you have a name for him?"

Erwin nodded almost fondly. "I think I'll name him…Thumbelevi."

Mikasa and the newly-christened Thumbelevi exchanged identical expressions of disgust; the first time they'd agreed on anything. "Is that the best you can come up with?" Mikasa asked, picking up Thumbelevi from his perch and examining him closely. "Eh, he's kind of cute from his angle when he isn't saying anything."

"And you're very attractive when I don't have to see you," retorted Thumbelevi.

"Mikasa, can you not flirt with my son in front of me."

"So he's your son, now?"

"I hope you realize I'm not calling you 'dad'."

"But—"

"_Ever_."


End file.
